Have you ever faced an angry client and wondered how to handle the situation? This blog provides practical strategies to de-escalate tense moments, maintain professionalism, and protect your business relationships. Whether you’re a seasoned professional or new to dealing with difficult clients, these tips will help you stay calm and in control. Let’s dive into the art of turning conflict into resolution! See our blog on why supporting your team’s mental well-being is key to your success for more information.
Key Takeaways
- Stay Calm and Empathetic
- Listen actively, show understanding, and keep a neutral tone to de-escalate tensions.
- Recognize Issues Early
- Watch for signs of frustration and address them quickly to prevent escalation.
- Acknowledge and Clarify
- Validate concerns without taking blame and ask questions to fully understand the issue.
- Offer Clear Solutions
- Provide actionable steps to resolve the problem and avoid overpromising.
- Follow Up and Learn
- Ensure resolutions are implemented and reflect on ways to improve for the future.
How to De-Escalate an Angry Client: Effective Strategies for Fitness Professionals
I was 18 years old the first time I stepped into a gym. I just lost 30 pounds with the blue and red Tae Bo VHS series that was all over infomercials when I found the local women’s only gym. They had a 6am cardio kickboxing class that I loved. The instructor was fun and high energy.
Believe it or not, this was my very first positive experience with exercise. My entire childhood was full of shame and embarrassment when it came to my body or exercise in general. So going to a gym and exercising with other people felt like a big risk. But when I met the instructor, Jo-Ann and took her classes, I was surprised that I actually enjoyed exercise for the first time in my life. Imagine my shock when a woman got off her stair stepper (this was before stairmills were common) and walked into the middle of the pink aerobic floor to yell at the instructor about the volume of the music. It’s been over 20 years, and many parts of that day are still clear as day:
Stairmill Lady yelled, “Turn the music down, it’s way too loud!”. Her arms were all over the place.
My new idol Jo-Ann just kept teaching class. She ignored Stairmill Lady and continued with our jab combo.
Stairmill Lady did not appreciate the lack of reaction. She walked over to the giant speaker system and turned down the volume.
The amazing Jo-Ann left the center of the floor to approach Stairmill Lady. She turned the volume back up. “Wear headphones if you don’t like it. This is MY class!”
Both ladies had their hands on their hips. Both ladies pointed their fingers at each other. I was getting frustrated with myself. Jo-Ann changed my life with this class, how dare this woman interrupt us? And now my heart rate is dropping and this woman is now interfering with MY workout.
I forget what Stairmill Lady said next, but Jo-Ann’s response was dead wrong. “Ok, I’m going to turn the volume back on, hun”
Those are fighting words. Every woman knows that.
A giant verbal altercation ensued. I watched as my idol ranted and raved, raised her voice and did everything possible to be louder, bigger and madder than Stairmill Lady.
Stairmill Lady went back to the locker room to collect her things.
The infallible Jo-Ann turned the music on louder. She did not verbally cue the rest of class. Her face was frozen like a stone statue. She increased the intensity of her combos. I could not keep up. My face was purple. I was on the wrong foot. I was on the wrong side. I couldn’t match the tempo. I was quickly disappointed in myself for not being able to keep up with her.
I saw a side of my instructor that actually damaged my self confidence. Nobody won in this situation. Stairmill Lady, Jo-Ann, everyone in the class, and even everyone in the gym that morning – we all left the gym in a bad mood.
Angry clients are everywhere. For some reason, our society seems to have an obsession with anger. It seems to be a front line response to any undesired outcome. Anger is often a mask for other emotions, like sadness and frustration and if we learn to deal with angry clients well, we are more likely to have better experiences in our studios and classes.
In fact, if we prepare ahead of time to handle angry clients gracefully, they may actually become our most loyal clients. Let’s chat about how our initial response to handling customer complaints can improve customer retention and protect our brand’s reputations. Check out our blog on maintaining sanity in your professional bubble for more information.
Pinpointing Client Frustrations
Identify Client Emotions Early
Happy clients are easy to recognize, right? They are smiling, nodding, making eye contact with you. Their body language matches your class instruction. Some clients are harder to read, and it’s always a great idea to ask for feedback early and often, especially with clients you don’t know well yet. As fitness instructors, we divide our attention amongst many stimuli simultaneously, so occasionally we may miss early warning signs that our clients are dissatisfied.
As a dance instructor, I usually start my alignment checks at each client’s feet. I explain to them that if their feet are in alignment, it is much easier to adjust other parts of their body to complete the dance move correctly. So I start at the feet and cue up the body as needed. We need to remember to also assess our client’s faces. It may sound silly, but a simple check in can prevent customer anger by addressing early frustration before issues complicate.
Think of your ideal client in your class or personal training session. They are engaged. They hear and respond to your cues. They may smile, they may appear focused – this is more dependent on their personality. How would you recognize a frustrated or angry client? Eyebrows may be furrowed, they may respond late or not at all to your cues. They may even separate themselves from class for a bit, pacing off to the side. Hands on hips and heavy sighs are signs for you to intervene quickly. If you hear irritation in their voice, it is time to address it now. Don’t wait.
We are now in a critical phase of service recovery: your initial response. Remember, your client is frustrated and angry. It does not matter how you perceive their feedback right now. They need to feel validated and understood. Their feedback may feel personal. You may feel attacked. And while hearing complaints is not something we generally like to deal with, it truly is a gift. They are telling you now that they are unhappy. They are giving you the opportunity to resolve it together, before they vent their frustration on social media. So let’s make the most of the time we have.
The Role of Empathy in De-escalation
What does your listening face look like? If you don’t know, call a friend on facetime and ask them to tell you something you don’t like. Watch how your face changes. Now imagine being frustrated yourself and getting that facial expression back from the person you’re talking to. Is your face helping you or hurting you in this situation? I say this jokingly, but if your first reaction to feedback is a negative facial expression, you aren’t going to go far with your client. Just like with their fitness goals, we need to meet them where they are first.
The way you listen will make the largest impact on this crucial client conversation. Put down your phone. Listen to your client. If you don’t like what they are saying, even if you completely disagree, and even if you are convinced their complaint is not even rooted in reality, take a moment to body-check yourself. How are you standing? Hands on your hips are not good. If you don’t know what to do, put your hands in your pockets, or clasp them together by your waist. Soften the muscles in your face, relax the areas around your eyes and jaws. A clenched facial expression may further harden your client against you. They need to feel heard.
Key De-escalation Tactics
Active Listening: What it Means and How to Apply It
So now that we’ve addressed our body language, let’s talk about the next step: listening.
Do not interrupt them.
Stephen Covey is famous for this instruction, and it bears more relevance now more than ever: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply”. Listening to your client’s complaint without trying to address each one in your mind at the same time is going to be difficult. Remember, you are not listening for bullet point instructions later, you are listening for their feelings.
It’s going to be hard. Maybe they’ve misunderstood something and you want to correct it right away. Maybe their attack is personal. Maybe they’ve been taught something dangerous in the past and they need safety education. Let them get their full complaint out before you start talking.
Oftentimes, we are so uncomfortable in these situations that we don’t like silence. We feel the need to speak right away. Silence is ok. In fact, you don’t even need to address all the issues first. Listen to the words they are using, the words that they emphasize and how their face changes when they discuss what is upsetting to them the most.
Using Clarifying Questions Effectively
If you’re unsure of the main issue, you can respond with something like:
- “Wow, that does sound frustrating. Thank you for letting me know. I want to work this through with you”
- “What I’m hearing you say is (insert your summary of their main complaint here). Am I understanding you correctly?
- “Thank you for sharing this with me. I’d like to address (insert main topic here) first. Is that ok with you?”
Remember to listen again for the main message they relay back to you. If they feel heard, you should see signs in their body language and tone. Their stance may be less rigid. Their hands may drop off their hips, or, if they were waving their arms around, maybe their arms are by their sides now. They may speak in a more approachable tone. If you pay close attention, you may even notice that they are not breathing as fast or as deep. Some people even start to shake when they get angry, so check out their fingers if they are still using their arms to demonstrate something.
While you are listening, remember that you want to convey acceptance and understanding. They may be talking a mile a minute – you might not even have a clue about where to start. If that’s the case, remember this: It’s more important to show your client that you are trying to understand them than trying to tell them that you understand them. Unless you know your client well, or you are 100% sure that you know the root of their frustration, the statement “I know how you feel” is dangerous.
Do you really know how they feel? Have you ever been 100 lbs overweight? Have you ever been given a weight loss ultimatum by your doctor? Have you struggled with depression and body image issues? Even if you have, as a fitness instructor now, your client does not perceive you this way. So it’s better to ask the right questions to show them that you understand them, then accidentally adding more frustration and shame to their experience by making them feel like you are lecturing them.
Remember, your clients came to us with a problem or with a goal. We don’t want to become another barrier for them. Let’s be part of their solution. See our guide on the benefits of exercise on mental health for more information.
Keeping a Calm and Professional Demeanor
Why Remaining Calm is Key
Have you ever lost your cool with a friend or a family member? Responding angrily in the heat of the moment never leads to resolution. Now we are interacting at a professional level and we need to demonstrate confidence and compassion. If we decide to match our client’s anger, we are not going to win them over. Imagine if you truly felt frustrated or overwhelmed, and the person in charge put their hands on their hips and raised their voice back at you. Would you return to that location? Do you still trust this person after that kind of interaction?
It’s human nature to want to respond to an attack, especially if it feels personal. But remember, even though this may feel like an attack, it’s really not. It probably has a lot less to do with you than you think. Remember, our clients come to us with many different emotions, attitudes and values about exercise. It may seem straightforward to us, but for many clients, exercise is full of emotions and negative experiences. So while you may want to match their energy, don’t. In fact, if you respond to yelling with a soft voice, you will interrupt their anger. You disrupt the anger cycle when they have to slow down their thoughts to focus on your calm approach. This is how you start to move the needle.
Avoiding Defensive Responses
Working in group fitness, and being independent contractors or business owners ourselves, we are proud of ourselves and our services. We design our classes, we’ve spent years training, learning and getting certified. We know we offer a great service. We have put our blood, sweat and tears into our work. So it’s only a natural reaction to want to defend ourselves in the heat of the moment. Unfortunately, that’s not going to help us find a resolution. It’s only going to make our client feel more firmly rooted in their anger.
What are some calm responses to angry customers? Take some time to review these suggestions and see what works with your branding and fitness styles:
- I’m not sure what you mean, but I am sorry for the misunderstanding. Can you tell me more about (insert topic here)?
- It’s really important to me that everybody gets the best workout. Can you tell me what is frustrating you right now?
- I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize you are dealing with (insert barrier here). How can I help?
Remember to take a deep breath before responding. Once you’ve taken that step to lower your own cortisol levels, maintain eye contact and speak in a slower, lower register. Your tone, posture, and energy will work synergistically to help your client move from fault-finding to resolution-seeking. See our blog on effective communication with clients for more information.
Offering Solutions and Taking Ownership
Acknowledge the Problem
Sometimes we are the problem. Looking back to my idol Jo-Ann, it’s pretty obvious that she was the problem. As fitness instructors, we know we need to keep the music decibels under 85. I’m sure the volume far exceeded the recommended limits! A better response would have been to acknowledge the problem immediately. If you remember, Jo-Ann completely ignored Stairmill Lady.
But, even if we don’t feel that we are wrong, there is still something that we can take ownership of so that we can at least find a partial resolution immediately. For example, even if Jo-Ann disagreed about the music volume and the way the gym member decided to approach her, Jo-Ann could have taken a neutral body posture, listened attentively to her complaint and turned the volume down.
Acknowledging the complaint doesn’t necessarily mean that you agree with the client or that you are accepting blame. Acknowledging the complaint means that you are acknowledging the customer concerns. Remember, at this point, the customer really wants to be heard and understood.
Offer a Clear Path to Resolution
This is the most obvious part of resolution, and to be honest, when we are in reactive mode, instead of listening mode, this is the part that usually gets the least amount of attention from the fitness professional. After we’ve taken neutral body posture, we’ve shown our client that we have listened to them, and we understand them, the next part of our resolution is to develop a clear path to resolution. This may include explaining a process or rationale to them. It may be a compromise. Depending on the complaint, it may require a temporary separation until a manager can take further action for them. Ideally though, we want our client to agree to next steps so they leave class feeling heard. It’s important not to over promise or agree to steps that you can’t repeat in the future. What is actionable for you may be different than what is actionable for the studio owner. For example, as a fitness instructor or trainer, you may be able to reimburse for the class until the owner talks with the client.
Follow Through and Follow Up
After you’ve developed an initial response plan, it’s important to follow through. Perhaps your client feels that your classes aren’t inclusive to all body types. In this scenario, it would be best to ask them what modifications or considerations need to be included in your class plan. If the client agrees to stay for the rest of the class, it is imperative that you add these considerations into the class whenever needed. Asking for more direct feedback throughout the class will show your client that you care about their experience and that you’re willing to grow as a professional.
Studio owners may need to take a more thorough approach. As a studio owner, as you listen to both the client and the instructor, you may decide to offer a discount or transfer the client to another instructor. You may also have a deeper understanding of the specific process that caused the client’s frustration in the first place and decide if the process needs to be updated. For example, maybe a scripted explanation needs to be adjusted. Or maybe the instructor needs guidance on the reason for the process. Perhaps it’s an outdated process that has been overlooked for a while.
As a studio owner, it’s important to follow up with the client about what’s been changed since their initial complaint. Most complaints are deeply rooted in the feeling that the customer just doesn’t want someone else to experience their concern either. If you can demonstrate that you’ve taken action, you’ve moved towards a better solution for your angry client.
If you’ve listened well enough, you may even prevent future angry clients by your actions! Your purposeful response may actually turn into a raving review. See the top 7 ways you can improve your personal trainer online reviews for more information.
When to Escalate the Situation Internally
Knowing What You Can’t Escalate Alone
This is often overlooked, and I think it’s because some instructors aren’t sure of what is within their scope. If you are a studio owner, consider having this conversation with your instructors as part of your instructor onboarding plan. If you are an instructor, now may be a good time to ask your supervisor what types of complaints they want you to escalate, how quickly they want to be notified and in what manner. Some owners may just want a quick text or email, other owners may already have a process and form for you to complete. Simply knowing what is expected of you will help you stay calm in the face of the angry client.
It’s easy to know which complaints need to be escalated, right? Most of the time you’ll know right away. Threats like “I could sue you for this” need to be reported to your supervisor quickly. Complaints about potential injuries or potential social media grievances need to be escalated to management immediately.
There may be times that you completely resolve the issue and everyone seems happy. You still may want to give your manager a quick recap. Your manager needs to be the first to know about conflict resolution in the gym. This will build professional trust between you and your manager. Nobody likes to be the last to know about a potential problem!
How to Transfer the Issue Without Upsetting the Client
As instructors, there are some factors that are completely within our immediate control. We can adjust music and lighting. We can be more cognizant of using inclusive language. We can immediately incorporate more safety parameters during a class. However, sometimes we won’t be able to achieve an immediate resolution and we’ll need to communicate that clearly to our client. Ensuring a smooth transition to a higher level of care shows our client that we respect them and we honor their concern.
If you work in a large gym with immediate supervision, consider texting your manager or the front desk to alert them that you are walking a dissatisfied client over to them for further resolution. You don’t have to explain everything in the text, but alerting them in advance can help provide a better first impression. Imagine being unable to find a quick solution, agreeing to walk over to a supervisor and then no one is at the desk, or worse, the person at the front desk is staring at their phone, unaware that you are waiting for their help. Our client is already frustrated and little consideration can go a long way right now.
Once you have connected the client to a supervisor or other team member who can help them, your interaction with the client during this critical time is nearly over. So it’s crucial to end this interaction in the most positive way that you can. The client does not want to feel that you’ve dumped them off to someone else. They especially don’t want to have to repeat everything that just happened. If they have to explain the situation again, they are going to re-experience more anger. That means more work for everyone. This is why it’s important to stay calm and offer a brief summary of what happened, what was perceived, the client’s main concern, what has been done or offered to resolve it at this point and the current status of the conversation.
This sounds like a lot, but it doesn’t have to take that long. It can be as simple as this:
“Thank you for bringing this concern to me Steve. As an instructor, I can change the music volume, but this class format requires a certain type of music. I now understand that one of the songs was offensive to you, and I’m very sorry. I’m going to make sure that this song is removed from my playlist, and I’m going to send a quick note to my manager to make sure all the instructors are aware that other participants may find this song offensive, so they can make adjustments too. We want everyone to feel welcome and have an amazing workout, and I appreciate your feedback. Moving forward, I’ll review my playlists in advance so something like this doesn’t happen again. Transparency is important to me, would you like to talk with my manager after class?”
If the client still wants to further the conversation with the manager, send your manager a quick text that you’ve resolved a complaint about the music from today’s class and the client would like to talk with them after class.
Escorting your client to the front desk is an important consideration. Meeting the gym representative, you can start the conversation simply: “Hi Joe, this is Steve. Steve was kind enough to share with me that one of the songs in class today was offensive. I immediately changed the song and apologized. I told him that I would talk with you so that the other instructors are aware not to use this song in their playlists either. He would like to discuss this further with you”. After you’ve connected your client with the manager, you have done your best to address and resolve the complaint. It’s a lot of work, but listening and patience will make the entire process so much easier for everyone.
In contrast, a poor transfer would look like this: “Hey Joe, can you come talk to this guy? He has a problem with this song. I already memorized the choreography to this song so I’m not changing it. I don’t know what his problem is or why he is so offended by this popular song. No one else has a problem. I’ve already stopped class to talk about it, so we’ve wasted too much class time already.”
Can you see how your intentions create such a different approach to conflict resolution? A lot of assumptions are made in the second example. Many clients may have been offended by the song before but maybe they did not feel comfortable saying anything. Just because you haven’t heard the complaint before does not mean that this person is the only person with the complaint. If you think about your main goal – an inclusive, safe, effective workout for everyone – it will be easier to see the big picture and find the best ways to offer resolution.
Reflect, Improve, and Follow Up
Learn from Each Encounter
Life moves fast. You have things to do after class and you don’t need to be hypercritical of yourself right now. Emotions were high, class was stressful and it’s time to move on. Once you’ve calmed down from the experience, it’s good practice to review the complaint, your response and your outcome. Here is a brief list of questions to help you review and improve your personal responses to angry customer complaints:
- Looking back, could I have done anything to prevent the complaint in the first place?
- Did I show compassion through my body language, facial expression and tone?
- What kind of example did I set for the other students in class?
- Did I offer an effective resolution? Are there other choices within my scope?
- What can I do better next time?
- What did I learn about myself during this experience?
- Did I transition this complaint well to my manager?
Implementing Feedback and Training
Just like our clients, if we don’t evaluate our progress and adjust our fitness and nutrition plans, we are going to be stuck in an undesirable cycle. It takes honesty, humility and a commitment to personal development to implement this type of feedback into our work.
Sometimes, the implementation is simple. In my first example, if Jo-Ann referred to her group fitness instructor training, she would realize that she wasn’t staying within the recommended music volume range. Yes, it may not be her personal preference, but remember, we are fitness professionals and our clients deserve the best. It would have been a blow to her ego to admit that she was wrong, but that doesn’t make her a bad person or a bad instructor. Feedback truly is a gift when we use it to improve ourselves.
It’s easy to think that we don’t need to share this information with managers or colleagues. We don’t want to look incompetent, and since we’ve handled it, we don’t need to share this with the rest of the team, right?
Sharing the feedback with the manager or other instructors is the best way to ensure there is a full and complete resolution. You’ve already put all that effort into resolving this client’s complaint. Imagine how frustrating it would be to get a similar complaint the following week. You’d have to have the same conversation, the same brainstorming for resolutions, the same time away from class. Imagine your manager’s perception of you when they have to complete service recovery on another similar complaint. Your manager may also be aware of additional training or CEUs that will improve not only the gym, but your quality of fitness instruction as well. Brainstorming as a team may yield better approaches and ideas, especially if the problem is more complicated and involves more departments or social media messaging.
Let’s Wrap It Up
Gym members bring a slew of emotions with them to the gym. The best way we can ensure a positive experience is by staying professional and adhering to the most updated group fitness instruction recommendations.
However, if we do notice signs that a client is frustrated, we can take early intervention steps to address complaints professionally. This means we do our best to listen to our client, ask clarifying questions to understand their perspective and stay empathetic.
Maintaining our composure and acknowledging the problem helps us develop a resolution together with the client. Following through with the resolution and/or with our manager can prevent future problems and possibly help us develop this angry client into a loyal customer.
Staying up to date with fitness industry trends and guidelines can not only minimize potential problems, but help us as we discuss complaints with clients so we can give them the experience they deserve.
Insure Fitness Group offers simple, reliable insurance for personal trainers and fitness instructors, keeping you covered while you train your clients.
Sources:
- Athletics and Fitness Association of America (2025). Principles of Group Fitness Instruction, third edition.
- Covey, Stephen R. (2004) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic. New York: Free Press
- https://hiverhq.com/blog/customer-dissatisfaction#:~:text=An%20angry%20customer%20may%20express,and%20empathetic%20in%20such%20situations.
Guest blog written by Kelly Bus:
Kelly also has 10 years of corporate wellness experience, developing award winning programs and speaking for the American Heart Association and Cerner Wellness. Connect with Kelly at www.somble.com/4play.fitness or follow her on TikTok at https://www.tiktok.com/@4playfitness
